A searingly honest yet inspirational memoir of how dementia changed a family in ways they never could have imagined.

Description

'Looking for Lionel is a personal story. It is a story of how dementia crept into my family unannounced and left us struggling to hold on to a life that appeared to be slipping away from us like a balloon slipping out of a child's hand. It is a story of fear and courage, shame and pride, sorrow and joy. It is a story of paradox, where the least capable person in our family was, for a time, calling all the shots. It is a story of how our lives changed in ways we never could have imagined.'
Looking for Lionel is a warm, insightful memoir about how dementia entered Sharon Snir's family and left them struggling with fear and sorrow. As Sharon shares her inspirational story, she invites you into her world of laughter and tears. Written for family and friends of those with the disease, it helps readers regain their courage and find the joys of relating in the here and now.

Reader reviews

'To write about dementia and to make it sound manageable and even joyful (given certain attitudes and behaviours on the part of carers) is one of those skills not readily available to your average writer. But Sharon Snir has it in spades.

Psychotherapist Sharon Snir's mother Lily seems to have been a 'difficult' parent: 'kind and cruel, sweet and bitter - and stunningly beautiful' writes Sharon in her preamble. The main focus of her life was her doctor husband, Lionel, followed by her other interests: the hairdresser, art, travel, friends, clothes and social events. Sharon and her sister Donna tried to be acknowledged, appreciated and loved by their mother, but she was more interested in her friends, however hard Lily tried to be the child she hoped her mother wanted.

Then dementia struck.

Sharon's story is about the progress of Lily's disease, interspersed with the latest research on dementia. It moves from observed changes in behaviour (such as forgetfulness) to the struggle Lily and other family members and friends had to find ways to cope with a person whose life and theirs had been turned upside down. The story is painfully honest, full of attempts to understand the condition and suggest strategies, the most important of which is to 'let go of past baggage, old resentments and hurts' and to deal with whatever presents so that 'the relationship becomes a heart to heart experience'. To sum it all up, dementia 'is the opportunity to move from conditional to unconditional love'.

And there's no turning back, no cure, no ways other than patience, tolerance and understanding. And by doing so, one comes to understand oneself; dementia in a loved one reveals to us who we are.

I found Sharon's story moving in the extreme, written with the tenderness, love and insight that lesser mortals such as I can only aspire to.' - Alan Wheatley, VIC

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Sharon talks about her book: