An overview of mindfulness-based stillness meditation

From our collective experience as students, practitioners and teachers we have formulated a gradual approach to meditation utilising attention. We have called this meditation path Mindfulness-Based Stillness Meditation (MBSM). We wholeheartedly recommend that MBSM becomes your main meditation practice. In itself, MBSM is a complete practice with many benefits. It is also a very beneficial foundation for practising the other styles of meditation using intention and inquiry.

As mentioned in the Introduction, MBSM has four steps: preparation, relaxation, mindfulness and stillness. We will examine each of these in turn.

Step 1: Preparation
Preparation involves establishing comfort and ease. We create a conducive external and internal environment for meditation by preparing the location, our posture and our attitude (see Chapter 2).

Step 2: Relaxation
A tight or tense body often accompanies a busy and restless mind. We use relaxation techniques to create more spaciousness in the body, which helps in calming the mind and bringing our attention into the present moment (see chapters 3 and 4).

Step 3: Mindfulness
Mindfulness is paying attention to what is happening around and inside of us each moment, without judging or attempting to change anything. We notice whatever sounds come to our attention. We notice the sensations in the body, the feeling of the breath moving in and out. We notice any emotions and thoughts. We surrender our attention to the present moment.

In later chapters we explain how mindfulness can be practised byusing a narrow focus of attention such as Mindfulness of Breath (chapters 5 and 6). Then a more open and inclusive practice can be developed through Mindfulness of Body (chapters 7 and 8), Mindfulness of Emotions (chapters 9 and 10) and Mindfulness of Thoughts (Chapter 11).

Step 4: Stillness
Gradually, by just paying attention without reacting, we become aware of a stillness. Sounds, sensations, even emotions and thoughts just come and go. Free of judgement. Free of reaction. We notice a background of stillness against which sounds, sensations and thoughts come and go, appear and disappear. We become aware of that still and silent presence which is just noticing the movement of sounds, sensations and thoughts. In this stillness, awareness is open and undistracted. Stillness is not a static nothingness; it is an alive, alert and non-reactive presence (see chapters 11 and 12).

LEARNING TO RELAX

In these days of tension, human beings can learn a great deal about relaxation from watching a cat, who doesn’t just lie down when it is time to rest, but pours his body on the floor and rests in every nerve and muscle.
—Juliette Clarke, A Cat Lover’s Notebook

Having established a conducive environment and adopted a supportive posture along with a curious, non-judgemental state of mind, we are now ready to begin to learn how to master the process of relaxing the body and calming the mind.

This type of relaxation—relaxation of body and mind—is the ideal prelude to all forms of meditation. In our method of Mindfulness-Based Stillness Meditation, relaxation flows quite naturally from good preparations. In a conducive environment it is easy to relax our bodies, and as we do this our minds tend to find their own inner calm. However, we can learn and develop the techniques of relaxation of body and mind in ways that will bring great benefits to our lives. This is another life skill worth taking the time to master.

The word ‘master’ is used deliberately, as the techniques of relaxation are skills that warrant learning, studying and practising until we become so adept at using them that we can do so free of effort. As discussed, from being the awkward beginner we become the tentative learner, and then advance through the early stages of accomplishment until finally we master what we have set out to learn. This process of learning is worth mentioning repeatedly and reflecting upon until we really get it. What we need to ‘get’ in this context is being comfortable with where we are at. As a beginner, we have beginner’s experiences. It is natural as a beginner to have some uncertainty, even awkwardness or critical appraisal going on inside.

Remember, though, particularly as you learn to relax, to do so in a relaxed fashion! Avoid the temptation to turn relaxation into a stressful business. Take your time. Be realistic. Once you learn these techniques and practise them a little, you will find they lead to deep and satisfying relaxation.

Getting ready for progressive muscle relaxation (pmr)
We are aiming to master the process of relaxing the body and calming the mind. It is really very simple. We start with an age-old method that reliably and deeply relaxes the body, and then we learn how to bring that experience of relaxation into our minds and our daily life.

The Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) exercise probably has its origins in the ancient traditions of yoga. It is simple to learn, reliably relaxes the body, frees us of any tension we may be carrying in the body, and leaves us feeling really comfortable and at ease. The technique involves learning to focus our attention upon the feeling of each part or segment of the body as we contract and then release the muscles in that area, starting with the feet and moving progressively up through each muscle group until we reach the head.

There are four things to be aware of as we bring our attention to each part of the body. So first we will take the time to learn and practice these four things; then we can put them all together and practise the PMR exercise effectively.

1. Bringing awareness to the body
To begin with we take a real interest in noticing, or being aware of, how each part of our body is feeling when we first give our attention to it. The key thing is to be just a bit curious. So start with the feet and take a real interest in what they feel like today. Then take your attention to your calves: how do they feel? And what about your thighs?

During this simple exercise, aim to let go of expectations. Let go of thoughts such as: ‘It should be like this or that’; ‘Why is it like this or that?’ And we aim to let go of judgement, of: ‘This is good, am I doing this right?’; or ‘This is bad, there must be something wrong with me’. Relax into relaxation itself by simply being content to notice how your body is feeling today.

Even if you do have some discomfort or pain, aim to let go of wishing it away. Almost paradoxically, yet in a way you will come to really understand, the more we can suspend our hopes and fears, the more we can simply take a non-judgemental interest in how it really is right now; the more we relax, the more comfortable we become; and the more at ease we are the more likely it is that this simple method of relaxation will flow on into meditation. This is a crucial point. While the majority of people who use this approach will already be basically physically comfortable and so will find that bringing awareness to their body is straightforward, if you have pain or some physical disability, these techniques can transform your experience of and relationship to your body. The key is to adopt an open curiosity as to how your body feels today, right now as you do this exercise, to accept that this is the truth of the matter, this is how it is, and then to use these techniques to lead your body into a deeper, more peaceful relaxed state.

The joy of all this is that it does work, and it works in quite a direct and simple way. We spend a few moments, perhaps fifteen to 30 seconds, exploring how a particular part of our body is feeling, and then we go on to the next step, and explore a different sensation.

2. Contracting the muscles
Next, just briefly, we contract the muscles in the particular area we are giving our attention to. The aim is to notice the difference in the feeling that is created in each part of the body by tensing up the muscles. We only hold the tension for perhaps five or ten seconds—just long enough to appreciate the feeling of tension that is created. Tight, tense, contracted. What does it feel like? Again that gentle curiosity. Free of expectations, just interested to notice, to be aware of the feeling of tension in this particular part of your body.

3. Feeling the muscles letting go
Then we relax the muscles. We do this in a measured, gradual way. It takes a few seconds. This is not like releasing a rubber band that we have stretched and let go with a sudden ping. What we do here is gentle. Simply relaxing and releasing. Notice the muscles softening and loosening, the tightness and tension draining away.

As we do this, not only do we release the tension we artificially created by contracting the muscles, but we release any residual tension that may have been stored in the body as part of a chronic pattern of tension.

Also, as another great benefit of this exercise, as we experience letting go of the muscle tension we become increasingly familiar with the feeling of letting go—in other words, we come to recognise the feeling of relaxation. We recognise and know what it feels like to relax the body, and as we continue to practise this exercise we begin to be able to relax anytime, anywhere, just by paying attention. This is a wonderful life skill to have. And anyone can learn it.

4. Familiarity with the feeling of relaxation
Finally, we give our attention to noticing what each part of the body feels like once it is deeply relaxed, and we develop a familiarity with the feeling of relaxation itself. Once we are able to know what it feels like to be deeply relaxed, we have a benchmark. We know what it is to be relaxed.

Now, many might say that this is a little absurd; of course I know what it feels like to be relaxed. Well, in fairness, our observation over several decades is that many people constantly carry significant levels of tension in their bodies and have simply become used to the feeling of it.

For example, way back in his early days of teaching, Ian remembers a man named Brian who thought he knew how to feel relaxed. Ian recalls: Usually I close my eyes with beginners groups and meditate with them. Fairly invariably, at some stage in the meditation, beginners tend to open their eyes to check out what is going on. Seeing my eyes closed seems to give the sense that I am confident that they will be okay, and they soon close their eyes again and relax into it.

This day I happened to open my eyes, and Brian was sitting there, deep furrows across his brow, shoulders hunched and hands tightly squeezed in two fists. Once we had finished, I asked Brian how he had felt during the exercise, and he replied through clenched teeth, ‘Oh, fine, really relaxed’.

I was a bit taken aback. What Brian had demonstrated and helped me to learn—his particular gift, if you like—was that many people have this muscular tension in their body and that they have become so used to the feeling of that tension that they do not even consciously register it anymore. Their bodies and their minds have adapted to this unnatural and quite uncomfortable state. What Brian was saying when he said he felt fine was that he was used to how he felt. For him, to be tense was his common experience; it was the norm. What Brian was not saying, and what he helped me to realise, is that he, like many other beginners we have helped over the years, did not know what being deeply relaxed felt like.

This then is a wonderful benefit, almost a side effect of learning to relax. As we practise these techniques, we come to learn how to relax at will and to know what it feels like when we are relaxed.

Once Brian got into the habit of practising relaxation as a lead-in to his meditation, he began to pay attention to the feeling in his body. As he did so, he began to notice something quite new. After a few weeks he reported, ‘I feel a lightness in my body. The backaches and shoulder pain have gone and I seem to have more energy.’ This all occurred courtesy of a simple technique for releasing tension and letting go into relaxation.

Relaxing each part of the body
Let us now return to contracting and relaxing the muscles. These days many people have done the PMR exercise before, but if it is new to you what follows describes how to contract and relax the muscles in each of the main areas of your body. In the next chapter, we will use this knowledge as the basis for practising the PMR exercise.

Learning how to contract and relax the muscles at will only takes a few minutes and is best done in the posture you intend to use to meditate. The descriptions that follow are based on a sitting position in a chair, but are easily adapted if you need to lie down or use some other posture.

After doing this exercise your muscles should feel all loose and floppy like a rag doll. Most people find it fairly easy to work out how to contract the muscles in each given area of their body, but some need a little more help. We offer some suggestions in the text below.

The feet
Start with the feet. The aim here is to contract all the muscles in the feet, making them stiff and tight. Hold your attention on the feeling this tightness produces in your feet for just a few seconds, and then relax the muscles again, allowing them to go soft and loose.

You can imagine your feet are in sand and you are trying to curl your toes down into the sand. At the same time, brace the muscles along the tops of your feet to resist that movement. This will make the muscles in the tops and the bottoms of your feet rigid. It will create tension in your feet, and you will notice the feeling that it creates. The feeling of tension is quite different to the feeling in your feet when you first pay attention to them.

The calves
As you contract the muscles in the calves, some muscles in the feet or the thighs might also contract a little too. Just ignore this if it happens and concentrate on the feeling in the calves.

If you find it difficult to contract your calf muscles on command, keep your feet flat on the floor and press the balls of your feet down on the floor. This will contract the muscles at the back of the calves. In a similar way, you can tighten the muscles in your shins by resisting this attempted motion, or if it helps, imagine pulling your toes up off the floor while resisting raising them.

The thighs
This is the biggest muscle group in the body, so we can get a good sense of the technique here. It is best to be sitting in a chair for this and to place your hands on your knees. Attempt to lift your feet off the floor as you hold your knees down. This contracts the big muscles on top of the thighs. Without actually moving your feet, feel your calves and heels pulling back towards your chair again. This contracts the muscles at the back of the thighs.

The buttocks
Lift yourself up off the chair a little by tightening the big muscles of the backside. Then relax again.

Once we get into the larger areas of the backside, torso, tummy and chest, there is another technique that is very helpful in bringing the feeling of relaxation into every part of the body, not just the muscles. The muscles of the backside cover a significant portion of our hips, pelvis and genital area. We can take the feeling of relaxing the buttocks and aim to convey that feeling throughout the hips, pelvis and genital area.

We use the muscles of the body to get the feeling of relaxation, and then we extend that feeling throughout the areas of the body that are not made up of muscles. Areas like the pelvis, internal parts of our tummy, and the inside of the chest, for instance.

The benefit of all this is that the relaxation begins to flow into every part of the body. As well as the internal parts of the torso, the bones, joints and head all relax, and as we come to feel this relaxation all through the body, it flows into the mind. We relax the body and the mind goes with it. We feel deeply relaxed. It is very simple—no effort required. We just do it, and it flows.

The tummy
Imagine you are lying on your back and someone is about to drop something heavy onto your tummy. You brace the muscles at the front of the tummy, along with those of the lower back.

The chest
This is easy. Contract the muscles tight like a barrel. The image of Tarzan is good for men. And Jane for the women! While that may be a joke, the idea is simple. Hold the rib cage tight for a moment, and then let the muscles go.

The arms
Next, brace the arms in whatever position they are in. Do this as if you are trying to hold your arms still while someone attempts to move them. Some people find it helpful to clench their fists, but it may be easier just to make your hands and fingers rigid in whatever position they are in.

The shoulders
Lift the shoulders up and the chin down a little, and then feel the relaxation through the neck and the throat as well as the shoulders.

The jaw
Bite down gently on your teeth, closing your mouth firmly. Then relax and feel the jaw drop open a little. Feel the mouth and tongue becoming soft and loose.

The eyes and the forehead
Close the eyelids tightly and then release them. Finally, for the forehead, furrow your brow (frown), and then lift the eyebrows a little.

Relaxation: in summary
As you learn how to relax your muscles in order to practise the PMR, pay attention to four things:
1. Notice how the area feels in the particular moment that you first pay attention to it.
2. Contract the muscles in that area and hold the contraction long enough to notice the feeling that the tightening of the muscles creates.
3. Slowly and smoothly relax the muscles, noticing the feeling of tension releasing and the feeling of relaxation that follows.
4. Give attention to what that area feels like now that you have relaxed it. Notice the feeling of relaxation in the muscles and extend that feeling throughout every part of the body—that is, all through the feet, all through the tummy, all through the head.

Mindfulness and the PMR
Now that we have worked out how to contract and relax the different muscle groups throughout the body, we are nearly ready to begin the practice of the PMR. However, before we begin there are two more useful pieces of advice to consider that are of value to the experienced mediator and to the beginner alike.

There are two ways to do an exercise like the PMR. One way is to do it mindfully, the other is mindlessly. While mindfulness is a major contributing element to our meditation practice and later chapters will delve more deeply into the subject, for now suffice it to say that mindfulness quite simply is paying attention to what we are doing. It is concentrating on what we are doing in a way that is free of judgement.

Mindlessness, on the other hand, is when we do not pay attention, when we do not concentrate, and when our mind wanders off and thinks about all sorts of other things. Virtually everyone has periods of mindlessness, but you will find it very beneficial to learn to be more mindful, to keep your focus on what you are doing, to be less judgemental and to notice what will work for you.

As we practise the PMR exercise, we do need to concentrate, but it will work best if that concentration is light rather than too intense. Consider a stringed instrument such as a violin or a guitar: if the strings are either too tight or too loose it will sound bad. The strings need just the right amount of tension for them to be in tune and for the instrument to sound its best. So it is with the mind. If we are too relaxed, too ‘loose’, it will not work so well. Too intense, too serious, too much effort, and again it will not be so useful.

Sogyal Rinpoche has a terrific way of explaining how to balance this need for being alert, being able to concentrate and to relax. He recommends that for meditation we should employ about 25 per cent of our maximum effort in concentration. What is 25 per cent exactly? Well, that is something that we do not need to dwell on too much. The important bit is that we do aim to concentrate, but in a light, relaxed sort of way.

Almost everyone will find that, as they do these exercises, the mind will wander, there will be times when they will become distracted, and for most this will happen fairly regularly. So another 25 per cent of our attention needs to go towards noticing what our mind is up to. We need to notice whether it is on track and actually doing the exercises, or whether it has wandered off, become spaced out, got lost in some other thoughts and become generally mindless. Again, we are all highly likely to experience our mind wandering off, so we need to use the vigilant part of our mind to notice when we do become distracted and, once we recognise this, to bring the mind gently back to the exercise again.

The key here is to avoid beating yourself up in the process. Be reassured that this is the normal experience. Especially for beginners, the mind does tend to wander and become distracted. You just need to notice this when it happens and bring your attention back to the PMR again. This is a normal part of learning any meditation method. It is a normal part of training the mind and, as you do so, you will find that you develop the capacity to concentrate better, and to hold your attention more consistently and for longer periods of time, not only in your meditation but in anything else you do during the day. This is another of the really useful life skills you develop as you learn and practise meditation—the ability to concentrate.

Now, if you have been doing the rather simple maths you will have noticed we have 25 per cent of our focus given to concentration and 25 per cent to noticing when our concentration wanders and to keeping
it on track. What of the other 50 per cent? Well, we aim to just leave, that spacious. The whole exercise is intended to help us to relax. To feel more comfortable, more at ease. It will not help us to attempt to force our mind to relax; to attempt to confine it, to suppress it. This would be like trying to tame a wild horse by confining it in a tight space. A wild horse faced with that restriction gets more restless, more agitated, more wild. Let such an animal loose in a big paddock, let it have space, and it may well run around for a few minutes. Perhaps it will even kick up its heels, but then, in a relatively short period of time, it will settle and become calm and relaxed. It will find its own natural peace and ease. So give your mind space. Avoid the temptation to attempt to squeeze your mind into submission, to confine and restrict it—that will just make it wilder! Use light concentration, gently correct it when it wanders, and patiently give it time and space. Remember, 25 per cent concentration, 25 per cent vigilance, 50 per cent spaciousness.

So now, knowing how to contract and relax your muscles, and being prepared to use concentration and mindfulness, we are ready to begin the actual practice of the Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise.

© Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson