Simon Rich is a graduate of Harvard University, where he was president of The Harvard Lampoon. Shortly after graduation he became a writer for Saturday Night Live. He now works for Pixar. Elliot Allagash is his first novel, followed by What in God’s Name and most recently, The Last Girlfriend on Earth, a collection of very funny short stories about love.
Q: You’re throwing a dinner party for fictional characters. Who do you invite?
A: I’m a terrible cook, so I’d make sure to invite characters with low dining standards, like Oliver Twist or Jean Valjean. I could just serve bread and they’d be psyched.
Q: Are there any books that still haunt your dreams, even years after reading them?
A: "Introduction to Calculus"
Q: Is there a book you wish you’d been the one to write?
A: "From Pieces to Weight," the autobiography of 50 Cent, because that would mean that I was 50 Cent. This is the only question on your list I consider a "no-brainer."
Q: And which author would you grant immortality so their books never stopped coming?
A: I guess myself? I mean, I don’t think my books are all that great, but I don’t want to die ever.
Q: Who’s your biggest non-literary artistic inspiration?
A: It’s a tie between Mahatma Gandhi and this dog.
Q: If money were no object and you suddenly lost the desire to write, what would you do with your time?
A: You just described the life of a Hollywood screenwriter.
Q: What would be your menu for the last meal of your life?
A: I’d like to say steak frites, but odds are it’ll be a bunch of medicine.